Circa Mid December, 2010, I was deep in a heated power yoga flow and just settling into pigeon pose within the last 10 minutes of class.  As my body started to  release into full expression, tears started to profusely stream down my face.  This had never happened to me before! 

As I laid there trying to maintain composure, I realized I had so much that was pent up inside of me that I hadn’t given the full  attention it deserved as a means of facing and letting go.  Just like I was trying to ‘be quiet’ to not disrupt class, I had suppressed so much angst inside of me from a deeply troubled past relationship and right then and there it needed to be dealt with.  I gave myself permission to let go.  And it was incredibly cathartic beyond words. 

It was the day I learned that the true path to freedom was forgiveness and in that moment, I forgave it all and nourished myself wholly through deep, tender love and gratitude. It truly was a powerful moment for me that I will never forget.  And perhaps with that fresh on my heart, at the end of class my lovely teacher happened to announce the next teacher training and it indeed spoke to me.

I was already enrolled before she could even finish her speech. I knew I wanted to dive right in and make a career from something that was so life-changing for me.  Yoga found me when I was at my most vulnerable and was searching for a path to heal.  I did indeed heal and learned many powerful lessons along the way.  My bright eyed and bushy tailed Self couldn’t wait to share this gift to the world.

Fast forward several years and I felt the chains pulling me further into burnout.  I was teaching full time at FOUR different studios driving all over Los Angeles, PLUS having to side hustle various gigs to fill in the gaps and I was still barely making it, yet alone be able to put any money away to save.  It seemed like every time I would get ahead a little bit, some big unexpected expense would show up and pull me back in.

I loved teaching but my spark was slowly dwindling down and the sad state of my bank account was quite apparent.  Even though I had packed classes, I felt like a hypocrite  because I often didn’t have time left over for my own practice, let alone have money or time to travel which was something I felt I was missing out on. Precious time kept slipping away..

The irony is that freedom I once felt so true to my core, had become a distant memory.  And the sad reality was, my life-force… my PRANA, was struggling hard to keep up.  It was during this time, my health also started to decline.  I was always getting sick.  The downward spiral for me started to speed up until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.